They thought I lied! 3 lessons graduate students learn the hard way

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Please Believe Me!
3 Lessons Graduate Students Learn the Hard Way

After a decade of coaching, you would think that my clients would believe me when I tell them something. Well, for the most part, they do. However, there are still times when students blow off what I have to say. Either they aren’t in a place to hear it, or they really don’t want it to be true. Unfortunately, when warnings go unheeded, they tend to come back and bite the student later. While no one student has done them all, these are the top three lessons that graduate students seem to need to learn the hard way.

Lesson 1. Writing letters of recommendation (LOR).

Many people writing LORs for graduate school admissions, grants, and fellowships, want you to provide them a draft letter to start with. This makes a lot of students uncomfortable. Not only are they unsure of how to write a LOR but it feels presumptuous, a bit like putting words in someone else’s mouth. However, for good or ill, that is just the way it is. One student insisted on learning this lesson the hard way. They were applying for a fellowship and didn’t ask their letter writer about it when I told them to. You can see where this is going. ONE DAY before the letter was due, the student received a note from a letter writer asking when the student was going to send the draft!

You do not want to be scrambling to get a LOR drafted and to your letter writer at the last moment, but there’s another reason to heed this lesson. Letter writers will write a better letter of recommendation when given a draft to work from. You are the one who has read the application criteria thoroughly and you are the one writing all the other supporting documentation. No one knows what to emphasize in your LORs better than you. Providing a draft LOR helps the letter writers know which skills and experiences to concentrate on and they will take what you’ve written and improve upon it.

Confession here, that student was not the only one who learned this lesson the hard way. When I was a graduate student, no one told me that this was expected. I learned it the hard way when my first grant application was rejected for weak letters of recommendation. When I discussed the disappointing results with my mentor, he asked to see the draft letters I had provided. My response was to stare at him blankly and say… “what?”

I have never made that mistake again and the following grant application cycle I was successful. These days I always ask if my LOR writers want a draft version and even if they don’t, I always provide a bulleted list of the skills and experiences that I think should be emphasized in the LOR.

Lesson 2. Analysis is slow.

Students consistently underestimate how long it takes to complete analyses. Quantitative analysis requires data cleaning and re-coding, statistical modeling, quality control review, and revision. Qualitative analysis requires transcription, repeated reading, coding, cross-validating, and consolidating results. No matter how simple you think it will be, analysis always takes longer than planned.

Numerous students have learned this lesson the hard way.

Primary data analysis? You’ve got data cleaning and recoding which requires a lot of care and thought; missing data evaluation, which will invariably turn up a problem; and periodic updates if you are analyzing while data collection is ongoing.

Think you’ll escape problems with secondary data analysis? A “few hours” stretch into days as you discover confusing data documentation or merging errors and that’s before you get to data cleaning and recoding. You might even discover a problem with the data which has to be reported to the data holder for correction. This has happened to two of my clients! Not only did they have to wait on the data holder, but they’d spent a ton of time thinking the problem was something they did before identifying the real cause.

That’s all before the analysis was even started! During analysis, you might find your code generates an unexpected error; the analysis uses too many system resources to complete; or it takes hours to run only to find forgot to specify an option or include a variable and have to do it again. After all that, you might learn the data violates some of the assumptions required for your statistical test and you’ll need to modify your analytic plan.

Don’t think you’ll have it any easier if you’re doing qualitative analyses either. You’ll learn just how long it takes to complete quality control checks on interview transcriptions, review interview responses for themes, create coding schemes and have them approved, get your coding cross-validated, and then review it again just to be thorough. All before you can write up any results.

As if all that’s not enough, passionate and curious committee members often ask for follow-up analyses, and the next thing you know, you have enough results to fill 10 journal articles!

Lesson 3: Your thesis/dissertation deadline is not the date of your defense

Alarm clock for motivation

Many students conflate, sometimes subconsciously, when they are defending with their thesis/dissertation due date. In reality, your thesis or dissertation is due around 6 to 8 weeks before your scheduled defense. Why? It’s customary to give your committee two weeks to read your draft prior to your defense. It’s also customary to provide your committee chair with the draft before it is approved to go to your committee, so that’s another two weeks. Usually, you will need to address your chair’s feedback before sending it to the full committee, so you will need time to make revisions. Two weeks is a standard estimate. It can be shorter if your chair has been providing regular feedback but longer if your chair has been largely hands-off. So, 2 + 2 + 2 is…6 weeks ahead of time.

You can imagine the stress and anxiety students experience when finally internalize this deadline and realize how little time they have left, despite my repeated warnings. My suggestion, create a countdown of days until your full draft must go to your advisor to help you internalize the real deadline.

I hope you take heed of the lessons I and others have learned the hard way and avoid the stress and pain that comes along with them. When you make mistakes, let them be your own, not ours. 😉

Wishing You All the Best in Your Academic Success.
Dr. Cristie Glasheen, Your Graduate Student Success Coach.


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K.H., Doctor of Physical Therapy Student

It has been a crazy semester but it is going really well. Just finished 2 of my courses and feel really good about them. I feel like I have been able to use so much from working with you the last year to make this semester go amazing.

H.N., Masters in Public Health

Just want to appreciate the incredible Cristie and how wonderful of a mentor she is. I’d want to be your student and to learn from you over and over again! There’s absolutely no one half as good as you’re. Thank you for being a part of my journey. My heart is SO full now that I’m done with my degree and I reflect on the huge role that you played in making it true. What a gem!

S.C., Professional Development Coaching

It’s so very evident how much Dr. Cristie cares about my progress and successes. It gets me through the hard days knowing how much she is genuinely routing for me. She’s gone out of her way to be responsive and supportive and help me get past the blocks I kept running into. She really did help get me unstuck and now I’m staying that way.

K.G., Ph.D. Public Health

Just got this in my email – [Dissertation] Approved with no restrictions! THANKS, COACH!

R.H., Admissions Coaching for Master’s Higher Education Admin

“Hi Dr. Cristie! (…)

I’m happy to report I got into all the programs I applied for!

  • [Redacted] University: fully funded, plus $24,000 stipend & health care (…)
  • University of [Redacted]: no scholarship offered, did not apply for GA positions.
  • [Redacted] University: offered 50% tuition, GA position offered up to 66% tuition. (…)”

*Some content redacted for privacy.

T.N., PhD. Evolutionary Biology

I’m a doctor!!! Wooo! The presentation went well […]. Thanks so much for all of your help getting to this point! I really appreciate it!

G.G., Ph.D. Bioinformatics

I just wanted to let you know I successfully defended and will be graduating in a couple weeks!
Thank you again for all your help […]!

Alex, Ph.D. Environmental Science

Having Cristie as a coach was one of the best investments I made in graduate school. Period. She was instrumental in helping me pass my comprehensive exam and finish my research proposal, all while giving me the tools to manage two other projects I was juggling at the time. Despite being laser-focused and results-driven in helping me achieve my academic outcomes, Cristie is also very human and reminded me that graduate school is more than just academics and that you have to make time for yourself and for fun stuff.

A.S., Ph.D. Candidate, Industrial/Organizational Psychology

I PASSED [the oral comprehensive exams]. Thank you so so so so so much! I could not have done this without you! [redacted for privacy] I can’t believe it’s over […] The beginning of the end is finally here! I’m so happy!!!

I.M., Ph.D. in Economics

What’s been the most helpful? “It has been useful to look at problems from a different/more helpful perspective. I like that I have been able to work on my thesis sustainably without burning out, considering that I have a full-time job. I usually feel very motivated to work on my thesis after the meeting with Cristie, and having weekly meetings helps me be accountable and drastically reduce my procrastination. I also really appreciate the knowledge sharing of resources and the work smarter, not harder approach (e.g. AI suggestions, Andy Stapleton videos, Focusmate, programs that help with identifying duplicates, etc).”

A.S., Ph.D. Public Health

Finished! My dissertation was defended on 01-July and I am an official Ph.D.! What an incredible journey. I am so grateful for our interactions and still apply [your] lessons in life.

A.M., PhD Student, Economics

Successfully submitted my online [grant] application! It was an unknown journey for me, but what I now do know is that it was possible greatly thanks to you. So thank you so much!

A.M., Postdoc, Atmospheric Science

Hi Cristie, I just wanted to let you know that I finished my presentation on time… one day ahead of schedule! That’s a first for me. Thank you for your help keeping me on track with our coaching sessions!

A.S., Ph.D. Epidemiology

I don’t know how other people who are balancing work and family manage to finish their dissertations without a coach, but I am so glad [other client] told me about you. This was the best decision I could’ve made. I’m so thankful.

M.H., Ph.D. Toxicology

Dr. Glasheen! I passed with barely any revisions requested of me. I am able to submit my dissertation tomorrow morning […]!
Thank you for all your help!

F.N., Ph.D. in Environmental Economics

What’s been the most helpful? “Breaking down tasks that overwhelm me. Navigating many difficult decisions that are crucial towards achieving my PhD. Getting feedback on my work. And tracking the work in progress which is often invisible.”

“I think Dr. Cristie does an amazing job. I have tried the free coaching provided by my institution and I would rather pay Dr. Cristie.”